One Rong View

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Drive Less, Live Longer & Better

Recent studies by the Rong Institute of Health have shown repeatedly, the indisputable results that the quality of life is inversely proportionate to the amount you drive. The less you drive, the more you are able to enjoy life.

In other news, today I flipped someone off while driving, proving that driving in LA causes stress which in turn, increases chances of all sorts of meaningless, for-nothing crap.

Usually Fred does it, so I think it might have been my first time ever. It was the last straw. And Fred wasn't there to do it, hence, I didn't need to stop Fred from causing trouble, so the only thing left to do was... dare I say, me myself doing it. Stupid jackasses that don't know how to operate their vehicles/use public roads.

Strike 1.
We were getting Fred a sandwich from Quizno's.
In a very busy parking lot where 10 billion people were trying to not only snag a space for themselves, but were also playing person-who-parks-closest-to-wherever-they're-going-wins. (The only thing you win by the way, is a fat ass by supplimenting your already sedentary lifestyle with sitting in your car rather than walk the 5 extra ft to your destination.) And just to spice things up, everyone was there. Everyone and their ginormous SUV. Especially the expensive ones.

I found an appropriate place to let Fred out to get his food while I ventured into the asshole world (there really isn't a more succinct way of putting it) of competitive parking.

I was on my way to the farthest end where no one parks. Vehicle in front of mine... man in champagne colored sadan was letting wife, who was gathering her 10 billion things from her seat, out of car in front of Barnes&Noble, holding up traffic. Ok, nothing wrong with that, except for the guy behind me honking like it's my fault. Guy behind me drives around us and speeds away obviously annoyed. Because it's a relatively tight parking lot, speedyklis had to slam on his brakes at the end of the line to avoid smashing into assorted parked cars.

Meanwhile, I spot a car backing out of his spot to my left up ahead. Lucky me! Or so I thought... and you can guess what happened next. I pull forward, swung left around champagne sedan and put on my blinker, indicating that I got dips on the spot, and then I wait patiently for leaving car to get out safely. Me being me, gave leaving car lots of space to back out.

Before I could even blink, champagne sedan was in the my parking spot. Excuse me, but while your wife was trying to perfect the feng shui in her handbag, I already claimed the parking spot! Grrrrrr.

Strike 2.
Barely seconds later. Navigating a turn to get to the next row, a car wants to back out. Ok... naturally, I let them and I give them space, as a result, all hell broke loose. Cars started to do crazy shit, as if to punish me for being considerate. I got stuck in the middle of like 5 cars, some trying to snatch the empty spot, some tryin to go around one another. What the hell, people. If I didn't know better, I'd think all of them got a call at that very moment (As indicated by the cell phones stuck to their faces) informing them that their moms were dying and they needed to rush to the hospital.

Just for the record, after those 2 episodes, I thought, surely, I've EARNED myself a good parking spot. So I changed course and drove towards Quizno's. Sure enough, I got the rockstar spot. Don't you just love it when life is fair.

There're strikes 3, 4 and 5 (Strike 5 was when I had enough.) but I'm bored taking about moron drivers.

I shall talk about a piece of advice that Marc gave me that I never really needed or understood till having to deal with LA traffic.

Marc's a friend from college. He used to work at the paper with me. He's a really great guy. Coincidentally, he was from California. One day, he gave me a ride. He's a NOT a reckless driver, but I must say, he's a bit of a... yup, he said it himself... an agressive driver. The most agressive driver I've ever been a passanger of. But in a non-life-threatening, good way.

When Marc was making a particularly risky turn, I expressed my disapproval. Marc offered," You can't just wait there all day, can you? You need to analyse it and be a little aggressive about it and just go."

I think what Marc meant was I should be less of a pushover. Funny... the random things I remember. Great advice. Thanks Marc.


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